Autistic/Neurodivergent Burnout versus Pregnancy Fatigue: It Doesn’t Just Go Away
Autistic/Neurodivergent Burnout doesn't just go away on its own. It's not like a cold where you rest up for a week, then jump back into life as usual. That's true even when you're not pregnant. And unlike normal pregnancy fatigue, it won't go away because you've had your baby and are no longer pregnant.
If you, like me, are a late-diagnosed autistic, ADHD, or highly sensitive person, chances are you’ve lived most of your life in some degree of burnout.
After all, the world is an insanely intense place when you take in everything, everywhere, and all at once. And maybe you’ve been able to carry on anyway, masking, working harder, keeping up somehow and tolerating so much you don’t even realize you’re tolerating.
Now you’re pregnant. The volume that already felt like 10 (for so long you may have numbed it out such that hypervigilance and overload feel like normal) has now cranked up to 11…maybe 12.
On a 1-10 scale is there a 20?
And yet still you are making yourself wrong.
I see you, comparing yourself to others and judging yourself for your struggle. And I see myself. How well do I know that persistent voice, always second guessing whether it really is harder for you or if you are just being a wimp.
The burnout gets deeper and your mask begins to collapse and that is terrifying. You might be missing important information at work. It's hard to decide what to wear, let alone lead a project. You may be unable to express your ideas or even carry on simple conversations as the words disappear midsentence. You almost cry in a client meeting. Your spouse sounds grumpy about the dirty dishes and you do collapse in tears.
And the restless sleep, and the waking up more exhausted than when you went to bed. You’re supposed to be taking care of your body for your baby, but you're so burned out you don’t have the energy or attention span to get help for the burnout.
It's not just normal pregnancy fatigue...
Everyone around you, including your doctor or midwife, may be telling you this is normal pregnancy fatigue. Your iron is fine. Your thyroid is fine, but you're still exhausted. And that much lauded and hope for second trimester energy boost? Never happens. What about the resolution after delivery that Google and the "what to expect" books promise...
First the Bad News
I have rough news. Just getting through the next few months until the baby is born is not going to help. I learned the hard way that a baby outside of your body creates more sensory overload and overwhelm than a baby inside. Executive function does not improve when you’ve been up three times in the night to sooth a fussy human being.
The Good News
Don't lose hope! You see, now is your time. Time to start prioritizing you. You who are doing the important work of nurturing another person’s nervous system as it develops, start nurturing your own. And it’s okay to need help doing that. I’m here to help.
And as you choose to take care of yourself and get the support you need so you can let go of the people-pleasing, the self-doubt, the masking and the impossible demands, you are already modeling for your baby's developing nervous system that hypervigilance and chronic stress are not a foregone conclusion.
You are already the best parent for your baby, the one they are choosing. Now you are becoming more of you from relaxation. Truly the parent they deserve and desire. That is magic and a generational gift only you can give your child.
Click the button below to schedule your no-pressure "Ease in Pregnancy & Birth" consult today. Because your pregnancy and plunge into parenting doesn't have to be about surviving burnout, it can be about recovery. You deserve ease and joy and glory®. You deserve to be nurtured too.
